Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Random Thoughts While Running for the First Time Since I was 14

What I feel like when I run... What I'm pretty sure I actually look like...

I can do this. Yeah. Not so hard. Kind of fun actually!
{three seconds later}
Fuck this. This hurts. My lungs hurt. Why do people do this?
No, keep going. This is good for you, you're burning so many calories.
{two seconds later}
You know what? I like my body the way it is. I'm not fat, I'm curvy. Guys like curves, right? Like, Marilyn Monroe or something, right? Yeah, Fuck it. I can just be fat forever.
I think my left lung just exploded.
Is that my own ass slapping against my thigh or have my shorts come down?
Nope. It's my ass.
How did I do this in high school?!
Oh, right. I didn't. And I was 50 pounds lighter.
How did I get so fat? 
Oh, right. Cheeseburgers.
Am I peeing?
No, just sweat. I think.
God this hurts.
Little further.
How much further?
Like, that lightpole down there. Yeah, stop there and walk a while.
Or....maybe just stop here. Yeah, here's good. Slow down and walk a while. Or lay down. How uncomfortable could gravel be? Might be nice.....I miss cheeseburgers.
Now I'm almost positive I'm peeing. 
Don't you wet yourself when you die? 
I think I just died. I'm probably already dead.
Ok, I've run a while now and I was going really fast. Time to stop and check my running app:

Annnnnd I ran two miles even slower than I walked two miles last week.


No comments:

Post a Comment