- Be nice to everyone
- Trust no one
- Gossip with no one
- Give no firm or official opinions regarding any and all gossip that is told to you
- Remain neutral and ambiguous until you know everything
- Neither agree nor decline when asked to take on a new task until you know how long it will take and why it's really being given to you
- Never underestimate the power of the words "I'll look into it"
- Save all your emails. They're the only proof you have sometimes.
- Take sides in no war
- Be friendly to everyone
- Be friends with no one until you've worked there at least 6 months
- Don't repeat what's said behind closed doors
- Remember what your mom said: Don't take candy from strangers- or in this case, overly friendly co-workers who are too determined to get in your good graces
- You will eventually have two different people wanting you to support them in their opposite agendas. There's no easy solution to this.
- Be nice to the intern.
- Be helpful to the people in positions lower than yours.
- It's one thing to help someone, it's another to do their job for them
- Meetings are an ungodly waste of time. You'll have a lot of them. They make executives feel important and are an excellent opportunity to dump unwanted tasks on those in lower positions-like yours.
Skate a clean program, and make more coffee if you take the last of it.
The end.
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