Monday, June 20, 2011

Mama Never Said Shit About This!

As I get older, I encounter more and more baffling, confusing, difficult, heartbreaking and enlightening things about life that I never planned for, expected or even though possible. Call me naive, call me stupid, but some things I just wish someone would have told me about. Like the fact that white jeans don't look good on me, and flats make my calves look huge.

I wish someone would have told me.....

Guys are not 'just friends' with girls: I never deal in absolutes, and there are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, guys are not just friends with girls. Guys are friends with girls that they would like to fuck. At least a little bit anyway. For years I honestly thought that all my awesome guy friends who would come pick me up at 2 a.m. when I was drunk or bring me food at work when I was hungry, or cuddle with me during naptime with all their clothes on and without making a move, were really just awesome best friends, and had no desire or intentions of sleeping with me, and certainly none of them had feelings for me. Over the last year, I have learned the hard way how very wrong I was.

People are going to disappoint you: Not everyone, and not all the time, but sometimes, even when you really really really need them to come through for you and do the right thing, or just be there for you, they are going to let you down. It's going to suck, and it's going to make you feel pretty alone and maybe a little betrayed. This won't be the last time.

Not everyone will treat you the way you treat them: This is an area I am probably especially naive about, and over the years it doesn't seem to get any better. I am almost 24 and I still honestly expect people to treat me the way I treat them. To hold honesty at the same high regard that I do, to be loyal all the time even when it's hard like I strive to, and to accept me and love me, the good and the bad, all the time like I have committed myself to doing. No matter how amazing you are to someone, they might still be a total dick to you all the time. BUT those people aren't worth a damn, and you should move on with your head held high.

Just say it: I wish someone would have told me that when it comes down to it, if you need to say something, just spit it out. Even if it's a bad time, even if it might not be well received, even if everyone in the room will disagree with you, say what's in your heart, and defend it to the fucking ground. In the eternal words of John Mayer "Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say."

At some point you will have to choose between buying diapers and paying your electric bill: And it will suck. There's no easy answer. Only a right one. And you will know what it is when the time comes.

Ask for help: Nobody will think any more of you if you struggle through every day of your life miserable and alone because you're too scared or proud to ask for help, and no one will think any less of you for admitting you can't do this all by yourself.

Just because you love them, doesn't mean they will love you back: And when you realize that it's going to hurt. Like hell. Like no pain you've ever felt in your life. But you have to let go. You have to move on, and you have to remember that somebody out there does love you. You probably just haven't met them yet.

Kids actually aren't very good for relationships: And if your relationship is a mess, your parenting will be too.

It's not about being scared, it's about being brave: Be afraid all you want. There is a lot in this world that is going to scare you. It's about being brave. It's about knowing you might fail, but understanding that you have to try. It's about accepting that you might get hurt, but knowing that the journey is what matters. It's about taking a deep breath, a big leap of faith, and doing it anyway.

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