Sunday, May 1, 2011

Holy Blast from the Past, Batman!

My every thought today has focused on timing. How two people either meet, or never cross paths, because of timing. How something miraculous can happen, or something terribly tragic, and so often you're left going over the details, frustrated because it all depended on timing. A car accident you got into that you would've avoided if you hadn't forgotten your coat and left 5 minutes later than usual. Or running into the old friend you would've missed, if you hadn't had gotten on the train at just the right moment, before they got off. Or falling in love with someone who will never love you back, because you met them at the worst time in their life. Or getting a call from someone you haven't heard from in a long time, someone you will never forget and have never been able to let go of completely, at the exact moment that your heart was broken and your dreams were dashed by the person you had met at the wrong time.

Timing is a frustrating, powerful and mysterious beast that holds more control over our lives than seems fair. Maybe it's not timing, as much as it's fate. Or destiny. Or karma. Or luck. Or just coincidence that all means nothing. I don't know. But in my time, I have seen entire lives evaporate into nothingness, due to nothing more than bad timing.

Time isn't always a friend to us, is it? It can conspire against us, time and time again. Convincing us in a generous nature, and robbing us blind every time. But time now has moved forward and put me on a different road. A road that leads me far, far away from the life I had dreamed of in my head, where I could exist beside him in a life that made sense. Time is the wind pushing against my back as it pulls us in different directions.

It hurts. But I am sure at some point, timing will come through for me again, and show me that this is all right. All necessary. All a part of the big clock that was always ticking, turning it's hands and pulling me closer and closer to the person who has been waiting for me since I was born.

A girl can dream at least, right?

No comments:

Post a Comment